Fri 3 February 2017
55 days sober
RR 20% - BIG DANGER!
……………
God,
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
The courage to change the things I can.
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Thy will, not mine be done.
Amen
………….
Remember everyday: Keep repeating “God’s will” OUT LOUD as much as you can. Even if you can only whisper or mouth it. Failing all that say it in your head but constantly keep saying it!
…………..
As you can see my RR is low, but I really feel that the programme is helping me massively and that I’m just going through withdrawal at the moment. I can feel my OCD getting better, I’m actually feeling full of peace and joy today. So just got to keep going to meetings, and keep working the steps with my sponsor.

Wed 2 February 2017
54 days sober
RR 20% - BIG DANGER!
God,
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
The courage to change the things I can.
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Thy will, not mine be done.
Amen
…………
Remember everyday: Keep repeating “God’s will” OUT LOUD as much as you can. Even if you can only whisper or mouth it. Failing all that say it in your head but constantly keep saying it!
…………
Woke up about 5 this morning and felt a bit ill so had more of a lie in than usual. This meant that I didn’t have time to update this, this morning. Lucklily once the day got going I didn’t feel so ill anymore (soon took that for granted though and should have felt more grateful!). Anyway, got to a meeting after work which was brilliant. Even though my RR is very low, I am actually feeling v peaceful and happy so not sure why my RR is so low but as it is low I need to be on guard to the extreme. About to do some stepwork now and need to get to 2 meetings tomorrow, need to get to a meeting early in the day where one is available.

Wed 1 February 2017 – Recovering from Sex & Love addiction
53 days sober
RR 70%

God,
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
The courage to change the things I can.
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Thy will, not mine be done.
Amen
…………
Remember for today: Keep repeating “God’s will” OUT LOUD as much as you can. Even if you can only whisper it or mouth it. Failing all that say it in your head but just keep saying it!
………….
Feeling v tired this morning. Stayed up a later than I would have normally done with going to a meeting and then doing some stepwork. Really important that I did that and like I say if I get a little less sleep in the short term in order to progress through the steps a bit each day, whilst keeping up my meetings, then so be it. 53 days sober – this stuff is working, and it’s going to help me way beyond just getting sober.

Tuesday 31 January
52 days sober
RR 70% - danger!

God,
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
The courage to change the things I can.
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Thy will, not mine be done.
Amen
……..
Remember for today: Keep repeating “God’s will” in your mind – ALL the time!
………

God, give me the power to quieten and calm my mind so that I can hear your will. Please direct my decision making at all times, because my previous game plan for living that I came up with myself has produced disastrous results in terms of my happiness and peace of mind. I want you to do my thinking for me, I do not want to analyse decisions in life anymore using my own intellect and thinking.

I offer my work and effort to carry out your directions but please allow my mind to hear your broadcasting beacon which I know is in my soul, which I will always be able to hear if I can only quieten the static and noise of my own ruminations.
……….
God, make me an instrument of thy peace!
That where there is hatred, I may bring love.
That where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness.
That where there is discord, I may bring harmony.
That where there is error, I may bring truth.
That where there is doubt, I may bring faith.
That where there is despair, I may bring hope.
That where there are shadows, I may bring light.
That where there is sadness, I may bring joy.

God, grant that I may seek to comfort, rather than to be comforted.
Seek to understand, rather than to be understood.
Seek to love, rather than to be loved.
For it is by self-forgetting that one finds.
It is by forgiving that one is forgiven.
It is by dying that one awakens to Eternal Life.
………….
It was great to meet with my Sponsor last night and discuss Step work. I’ve been getting to a lot of meetings but it really brought home that I need to find the time come hell or highwater to DO the WRITTEN stepwork and really go all out to make progress through the steps. The steps are something everyone should be working all the time, it’s sort of like the face of a clock 1-12 rather than a staircase 1-12. However, I do think the first run through of the steps is absolutely critical as that’s when you move from belief in a higher power to faith in a higher power. That’s when you have your personal experience of God, when you personally see the evidence of God so once you work the steps a 2nd time you KNOW the power of God, you don’t just believe it. It was great meeting with my sponsor last night because it filled me with a lot of hope and I think hope is so important also.

Monday 30 January
51 days sober
RR 45% - danger!

God,
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
The courage to change the things I can.
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Thy will, not mine be done.
Amen

……….
Remember for today: Keep repeating “God’s will” in your mind – ALL the time!
………..

God, give me the power to quieten and calm my mind so that I can hear your will. Please direct my decision making at all times, because my previous game plan for living that I came up with myself has produced disastrous results in terms of my happiness and peace of mind. I want you to do my thinking for me, I do not want to analyse decisions in life anymore using my own intellect and thinking.

I offer my work and effort to carry out your directions but please allow my mind to hear your broadcasting beacon which I know is in my soul, which I will always be able to hear if only I can quieten the static and noise of my own ruminations.

………………….

God, make me an instrument of thy peace!
That where there is hatred, I may bring love.
That where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness.
That where there is discord, I may bring harmony.
That where there is error, I may bring truth.
That where there is doubt, I may bring faith.
That where there is despair, I may bring hope.
That where there are shadows, I may bring light.
That where there is sadness, I may bring joy.

God, grant that I may seek to comfort, rather than to be comforted.
Seek to understand, rather than to be understood.
Seek to love, rather than to be loved.
For it is by self-forgetting that one finds.
It is by forgiving that one is forgiven.
It is by dying that one awakens to Eternal Life.
……………………

Well managed to stay sober yesterday, still feel like my RR is low though. Just got to keep up my program, and stay sober just for today. The weather was really $#%^ and miserable yesterday which probably didn’t help and it’s not much better today. Got to hang in there, I know it won’t always be this hard to stay sober if I just keep working this 12 step program I’m on. Got to remember that the 12 steps are the answer to all problems and not make up my own answers when I find myself exposed to non-spiritual ideas during the week. The 12 steps have produced millions of miracles of sobriety from people who were powerless in regards to their addictions. So they aren’t a theory, you don’t look at them and think… “gee I wonder if these would be any good”…. instead you know “this $#%^ works”.